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About Deviant Official Beta Tester toxic--sunriseFemale/United States Groups :iconpixeldolls: PixelDolls
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February 2015 by toxic--sunrise
Sketches by toxic--sunrise
Tiny traditional bust sketches of whomever you want :D


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Help me pick a name for the hermit cannibal 

5 deviants said Jasper
4 deviants said Luthor
2 deviants said Something else (Give me suggestions!)


:glomp: Have I mentioned how sweet you are? Thank you for your contnous support.
Tue Mar 10, 2015, 3:44 PM
I invite you to join
Mon Mar 2, 2015, 4:06 PM
Wed Nov 23, 2011, 8:42 PM
Btw, deviantArt is having a glitch where it won't let me comment on your profile. :shrug:
Thu Jul 21, 2011, 9:03 PM
Hey! I used your FFM prompt "Leave the umbrella behind" here.
Thu Jul 21, 2011, 9:02 PM

spring cleaning

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 12, 2015, 1:08 PM
today is slow at work therefore this will be updated with lovelies before i leave for the day.


how are you today?

edit: son of a bitch. it's twelve days into napo and i didn't even realize it goddamnit

Beautiful World by Laovaan
Light Twin by LinnFeylingbetween_walls. by Lady2048 by wickedAlucardDanielle Haim by oceantannGlam Reaper - Pixel by FionaCreatesLet Yourself Feel by Friduble

somewhere in the city, there's still pieces of us.i was a cigarette
you ignited in winter rain
and smoked until i burnt out.
then you flicked me to the ground
without a single care
for where the ashes went
as they danced with the midnight breeze,
because there were plenty more
in the pack.
on a shadow swallowed by the seaoh that boy, he's found his place with
the sea,
and i watch from afar as all his
jagged edges soften in the salt and brine 
and oh the ocean clings to his fingers so tightly
and its curls swish with the breeze,
and i watch from afar as they clutch
each other and turn into blinding
that tight slick skin that scarlet strand
of ribbon floating by, he can't resist
them; they lure him in and drown him
in a siren's song, and oh he can breathe
underwater now while i keep sinking
beneath frantic freshets. he knows
i've got those blossom bones but
oh the ocean's are seashells of
foreign shores.
i can pick out every grain of sand
tangled in his owl hair, i can tell
each time his eyes meet mine
he's coming up for air, i can't miss
that palm i never pressed:
the sun's only in my eyes now
from 3:13 AMi found a skeleton in my bed,
having died honourably and horribly
like a coward
through the course of that day.
and i wanted to send you a picture, i did,
but leave it to me to find
a self-conscious skeleton. you always tell me
i’m disaster-prone. you always tell me
you’re the only one i should listen to.
but the skeleton- the skeleton, remember,
it’s in my bed. i weighed it
and it’s only eight kilograms. god,
must’ve been some tiny person;
god must’ve been a tiny person.
there’s a ghost, too, somewhere around.
i wanted to name it. something beautiful,
something that flows of your tongue
nice and easy in conversation,
a string of words made for being spoken.
it’s a sad ghost, you know,
the kind that chills the room when
it shows up, the kind that fists my hair
in its palms when i forget to say hello,
the kind that would scratch
at your skin just to get your attention.
i wish it would listen to me.
it leaves dark scabs on my legs
and i can
ambulance chaser (start at the beginning)hold the gun steady,
let your breathing stop
and your lungs cry out
for a moment,
try to feel the silence (and)  
you can carry extra ammunition
in the second pocket -
"stay a while,
this is only a beginning,
only a moment's respite
before the storm whose cobalt
canopy will bury you
in salt,"
("this is only
a beginning,")
for shattered glass and
smoke-stain residue,
for seventeen
the matchstick on the doorway
the trigger,
your hands
are lead
sirens are in your eyes,
but there's no need
to warn them

we were born from ashesi set fire to our memories
so i could forgive you
because i don't even
remember who you are.
saudadeastral: stargate lover, come back to me
the sun presets your heart for a burn cycle
(flame, flume, flare, fade)
the moon twists and twinges to see you fly --
glisten, glow, glide aside my mind
wait for the pull to lessen, crash and break (black and blue)
i was never grand enough,
opulence has small charm for a corpse
(those ragged carpets and incense hold infinity for me)
i was never grand enough,
a wise man with a mind but no hands to plan with
(purposeless, crystalline -- true, true)
i was never grand enough,
ran through the streets with a flag on my wrist
(filthy and fletched and follied, yeah)
if you get a twitch, a stitch in your soul
remember we're not so far apart after all
just stars on the surface, satellites orbiting the same idea
that one ceiling isn't enough to block out the sky
when wondering when i will whisk you away,
recall i wait while the waters wake
wild whistles waxing and waning
weightlessness in the ways of winter
(words, words, words, words)
let me list the thing
.i feel in a language
i don't understand,
and the wings of the bird in my kitchen, they
won't get to feel the sky anymore -
and sometimes doesn't it feel good?
to put two fingers round the neck
of a flower and
hear the petals scream for
their withering limbs,
then start choking
Ribsi think of bones
those soft edges of my starving dog,
blank curves
thick, and the sort of blunt that was never any sharper
and they feel like broken knuckles
my cat is stacks of
poking ribs and bleached-bare haunches and restless,
bristling skin
the color of a fat moon and a skinny handful of dark
i prod my nails onto sharp tips and empty corners
let them run up the flesh like a blade,
like braille
she says why,
because they look like death, i say
and they feel like a crowded subway,
she tells me, stop, she says -
don't you already know what death looks like?
{don't you?}

she was bitten by sharp hands"those photos are crooked." i don't know why i said that to this woman at desk three of the dmv. well, i do, the photos were crooked. but that's not really something you tell someone about their work environment, but i did anyway.
the olive skinned lady with a few odd moles over her left cheek and forehead wearing this ugly little aqua-colored polo and her hair lazily tied into a ponytail gives me a sheepish barely-smile as she continues checking over my paperwork to get my learner's permit renewed.
"boy, use your inside voice." my mother's voice isn't sharp like a knife, but sort of dull like we're spreading butter over toast. and she didn't eat breakfast before we went here. and that actually has a lot more depth than people realize.
it seems like the entire room didn't really eat their breakfast this morning because the energy was a dull as the aforementioned butter knife. and you can only drink so much coffee when you have to wake up early just to get to this dead place before it o
to be discontinuedyour hands are too small.
they always slip through the cracks in your fingers,
the ones you love,
you just can't keep the together.
but your thighs are too wide,
spacious, filled with crevices that line
like roads on a map.
you are not able to part to let anyone in.
sometimes you feel like empty space.
eyes like stars - dead but
still shining.
what if galaxies are just people
who couldn't find their dreams in the sea
of smoke; wow, that's a lot of
& other times you feel like streets,
worn away by the tires of people who just
don't give a shit about you.
they just run you over because it's easy &
they don't have time.
honest to god there are not enough people
to fill in all the pot holes.
so be empty or be full.
which one hurts less?
you have some sick fascination with the beach.
something about the waves rolling in
to wash away the shore - you can
the ocean just take, take, takes
& the sand gives.
every time the tide leaves it
outwearslithering inside me
in between the guts
starving snake wanting to rip, tear apart
try, try, and try to feed it
wading black alcohol
smothered raw nude flesh
choke down tar smoke, fire
pleasure and poison
we yearn for
while it waits
You Were Not An Aquarium BoySea-glass became your bones,
brine your blood, and seashells
melded into your skin.
You were not quite an ocean
when you said "This is your sign to love me."
My body was like a building;
tall, cold, almost unbreakable.
I was metallic and sharp,
towering over your waters.
I remember taking your hand in mine,
conch and coral shells scrubbing
my skyscraper wrists, and laughing
about how one day you would
submerge every last bit of me.
Your lips, riddled with argonauts,
found my cheek and I cringed
at the coarseness.
You asked if they bothered me
and I finally told you "I
think I love you."

tumbledownhere in the dark where it is safe
we say let's stop taking painkillers.
let's feel every bleeding inch.
let's dance in blessed rain.
keep it up, keep moving
breathe and think about it.
lie back and be aware.
let the water run down your neck.
watch yourself split and fall.
it's okay, it's okay. clouds do the same.
nails in a cardboard coffinevery time you came home sober, you found my hands.
the first time it happened, you came home from work, late as usual, and found them wrapped around your favourite coffee mug, my nails painted the soft, cerulean blue of the sheets we'd fucked on for the first time.
the second time, you woke up to take a piss and found them clasped on the edge of the sink, my nails a deep, ugly purple. we'd fucked in here too, so roughly that you'd left bruises on my hips that ached for a week.
the third time it happened, you thought you were drunk enough to escape. you stumbled in reeking of beer, muttering about some woman from the bar with big tits and a tiny waist that didn't want to come home with you, and when you unzipped your jeans you found my hands wrapped around your dick, my nails painted in the same shade of yellow as the pajamas i wore the first time i blew you.
the last time you saw my hands, you were sitting in an ugly grey room lifting the lid off of a hat box for a blue-eyed detective
the stardust tasted bitteri saw your shadow on the wall and
thought you were out playing pictionary with ghosts
or looking for gold coins in dead grass,
and it reminded me of when we first met and i became
a spaceship that crashed on the way to the moon
and you were the asteroid that orbited my rib-cage.
i still remember the feeling of you carving
out my vertebrae and collecting them like stars,
but not before you had stitched ice in them  
so that they wouldn’t burn so brightly.
do you still keep them in jars strung on fine string like how you
string your fresh corpses out on the clothesline to dry?
you once told me your favourite season was winter because
you liked how the frost covered everything and
forced things to change their colours;
i only liked it because the snow looked pretty sparkling in the sunlight,
and it frightened me to think that two people
could live the same thing so differently.
sometimes i wonder if there is a tear in the fabric of the world
and if you created it to find me.
ways you are comparable to coffee        (i). you make me tingly all over,
             your warmth delicious and comforting.
        (ii). one dose of you is enough to keep me going.
        (iii). on rainy days and cold days
             when no one's home and I'm all alone
             there's nothing I'd like more
             than you.
        (iv). you leave a bitter aftertaste—
             interesting and terrible
             all at once.

  • Mood: Questionable
  • Listening to: server room fans / gaslight anthem
  • Reading: ---
  • Watching: ---
  • Playing: ---
  • Eating: ---
  • Drinking: ---


United States
I'm unpredictable.


2,345 deviations
122 deviations


Could you do me a favor? If you're here to thank for a favorite/llama/ect please don't just say
"Thank you for [thing here]!"

It's annoying to just reply "thank you!" all the time. kaythx. :heart:



Add a Comment:
atlantic-lungs Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student Writer
thank you for the faves!!
xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the faves lovely :heart: :hug: how is your day going?
luminescent0513 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i know you're not a fan of this, and you are by no means obligated to reply, thankyouverymuchforthefavorites. 
i hope you have a lovely day,
lumi :hug:

stargirl2791 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
*saying thank you anyway, no reply necessary.  we do this because we are grateful and because it's polite. ;)*
(1 Reply)
UselessRomantic Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2015
Thank you so much for faving my work! ^^
(1 Reply)
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